alone tonight

i hear these voices
the songs
the melody
resonating lyrics
throb my petite heart tonight
they hold meaning
and i allow myself to be naked
and alone
and cry in a quiet corner

in a parallel universe
you're doing so much better than i
cause you're not alone tonight
it's just me
you have plans

and i
i should have learned faster
maybe quicker

some days i think i should
be put down
but these damn songs
those damn lyrics
and all those concerts i never went to
all these tears you will never see
never feel
cause i'm human
to distance myself from you
like you, from me

maybe it was a lack of mutuality
we should have signed an agreement
for every tear you drew from my well
but i had no terms to offer,
just me,
and i seem to come back empty
three times over now.

so i turn my pillow
cause they keep going damp
but this song
it does not bring me to close my eyes and sleep
what it does
is
it brings me to close a door
and close my eyes and sleep
three times over.

broken cup

i fill the cup
i let it break
i fill it up once more
and between the pieces
the pieces of glass
piece together a story, intricate
as time
wrath and love
envy and desire
bleak cup
and now
the piecing 

ambered flaws

pray me,
i'm flawed
and now amber-ed
hidden in a thicket
pray me,
there shan't be cause
cause
cause to unbed
and yet you break me
and ask to undo, unlearn
and slowly,
i relinquish me
to form the mold
pray me,
there's need for more
and a moss grows
thick
pray me,
am shades of green
am shades of seething
and truly, my offering
is none more
than simple throbs
no money,
no facade,
simple throbs
pray me,
she misses a beat
she doesn't know
it's never enough
pray me,
she bleeds
cause
cause i'm flawed

implosion

if all your ducks are in a row
you will find the fragments
they tell me
it imploded into a million pieces
and none could find them all
so should we try to piece it
once, twice more
they will have said,
do not bother boy
the pieces are strewn
and none could find them all

In another life..

xoxo,

Privy me

the straight & narrow

i heard a loud 'thud'
When optimism died
since the day
it's been the straight
and narrow
there's just one route
i don't ask questions
and neither should you, me
when they ask
what has come to pass
fury stews
i slip through the cracks
those that existed from
the word - go
fairy-tale
the December princess
is now bleeding.
there is a hopeless shaped
hole in the ground now
they fill it up
but you see the faint outlines
not enough benzine possibly.
a vial of tempestuousness
is mixed into our morning expresso
patience stirs the pot.
my order is up,
"the straight and narrow, please"
why yes,
polity is still expected

treacherous you, defiant me

you scar me deep
you leave me cold
and you repeat yourself over again
time.
call me by any name
give it a few months
your infatuation will now abbreviate it
when you're not looking.
tomorrow a raft
takes sail
slow
and I am on it.
words cannot suffice
treacherous waft.
Figments undo every yesterday
such loss
when the fire burns out
not a shred
but careless specter.
And you repeat yourself?
now three times over?
time.