baby, i'm a dreamer..

“There are dreamers, and there are realists in this world. You’d think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realists would find the realists but more often than not, the opposite is true.You see, the dreamers need the realists to keep them from soaring too close to the sun.

And the realists? Well, without the dreamers, they might not ever get off the ground.” 

- MODERN FAMILY

idealism is beautiful, its art

  its emo and theatre and romance

  all at the same time and pace

  it gives one life and movement

  and makes u do crazy thingsIt makes you brave and bareall at the same timei think we have confused illusions with idealismwhen have I felt, trulyLet aside my head and said am actually going to feel?

There's a childlike notion




 





The world has conditioned us
Us getting up and going to work each day cause we have to survive

, 

which we all do everyone is a mix of both

 

 
- life makes us choose paths

So the idealist in me..is going to see France and Italy this yearthe realist is planning to save and stay in hostelsI love the sheer romance of it all. 

but my heart wants to live in Europe (she's heard too many stories, read too many books and watches movies way past her bed time)I want to read - i want to travel - and most days? I want to live




                    I love that I can choose to get off the ground. 

it's us by association

i acquaint you now ever so casually
with lyrics and tunes
your touch tingles more than it tantalizes
our journey's been etched onto my skin now
i don't need a tattoo to remind me of you
everything intensifies
and my body tightens
thoughts frighten me cause i'm ardent
i'm deep
i'm stubborn
i'm you and what's more is
you're me
how did that ever come to be?
over voicing the last so many years?
i thought i was sharing
instead i was doing more
you know me now
the past has made my skin tougher than yours
made it coarse
and you come along suddenly trying to soothe my scales
your balms are addictive
as is your voice
my throat is closing
and here we go again


there is a clock
we are in it
history knows us by name now
she knows you
she sees me
you said you knew me yesterday
you kissed my hand
you said i blushed
i hear these songs
you've badgered them into my being
i cannot associate music alone
it is you
do not time me

how do you associate me?
do you see me whole?
do you see all of me? all my facets?
do you see me?
can you still love me?
if yes, then..
here we go again
can we go back to the cafe now? to yesterday?

chug chug, she pulled away

as the train chugs in
for the very last time
we think of the possibilities
the journey that lay ahead
the route that brought me here
everything seems bitter
everything seemingly sweet

and the sky
it brews up shades of orange
and red and purple
and blue
just for me
just for you

i hear the whistle blow
i hear a man bellow
"where are you leaving to?"

the road is open
the horizon is fogged up
romantic almost

you see what you want to believe
you see the world come together
life is infused into the light

and as the train chugs in
before i get on. i want to say.
you will not be forgotten.
you are beautiful. you are courageous.
there is a reason i hold you dear
there is a reason i believe in you.

chug chug
catch my train
don't smoke the dream

no adieus.
just a salud!

Unbroken, broken.

I have been thinking....

truth, please..

I'm not fooling myself.. i know what has to happen.. i feel old though and tired. so tired.
feel like there isn't any hope left. like the world has buckled and given up on me. i realize its a reflection of myself and yet, it seems like the day will never befall us again. 

everything is hazy. i'm not delusional. i know what is happening or rather what's not. the future seemed like a mythological book being read to the young. oh, the young, so full of zest and ideas and building up dreams .. so naive. 

i had ideas once too .. i saw the church. i saw the rosa clara dress. lace.

time is so effortless. so i broke the clock. i'm growing too old before my time. my ideas have outrun me. my dreams are far behind. hope is nasty.

bring me that kindergarten smile. my bonny lies over the ocean. my bonny lies over the sea. you know what i miss most. i miss the truth. when did you stop telling me the whole truth. i thought we were doing that all along, now it seems like i was running the marathon alone and no one's passing me the baton.

Where is the truth?

Where was it, rather?

hazelnuts & chocolate

how i wish
you could have said
only the things you meant
and mean only the things
you did not say..
how i wish you just didn't stay


how i wish we could get on
like hazelnuts and chocolate
and i could melt into you each night


how i wish i was wrong about you
wrong in trusting you
wrong in holding you upon pedestal
on pedestal


i was praying a few nights ago
on my knees
and then on my hands
my body felt wasted
and i was drudging for a well


i was asking that we could be together
and i wouldn't have to leave
no, you wouldn't have to leave


no one gets what's happening
no one gets into my head


"i'm so sorry" they whisper
in the corridors
how i wish i was intuitive
i wish i was not fooled
how i wish i had not drooled


how i wish i did not ink your name
and then make you turn
how i wish i was not nude
and people did not see me through


how i wish we'd just have got on
like hazelnuts and chocolate
this entire lifetime

He's so not perfect..

Who would have thought Marley had some of the answers?

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.” 
- Bob Marley